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With a live show coming up in just a little over a month, rehearsals have begun in full swing. Some of the songs in this concert they've never performed on stage before, so Eli had had to create new dances for them. Now that they've all had time to commit them to memory, all nine of them have gathered up to do a run-through of the choreography. They're not worried about singing for now -- instead, they let the recording play in the background as they focus on the dancing alone. Eli watches all the way throughout, commenting on each girl's performance and pointing out unsatisfactory areas. ("Rin, don't swing your arm up that high!" "Nico, your turn is too slow!") Nozomi smiles a little to herself as she listens to her voice, even when Eli calls for her to stand up straighter, and not fall behind. Eli's very good at being authoritative.

They get through the group dances first, then move on to the units, and finally, pairs. The very last song on the list is Glass Garden, and Eli resigns from her position in the peanut gallery, and joins Nozomi in the center of the roof. Nozomi offers her a grin. From her spot near the CD player, Rin announces "Okay, ready!", and when they respond in kind, hits play.

They've practiced it well, Nozomi thinks. There's a bit of tension to the choreography, like a fear of coming too close for too long -- but then, it might very well be all in her imagination. Regardless, Eli is as graceful and poised as ever, and at the end of it, Nozomi feels they did a pretty good job.

Honoka applauds. The others, though, don't appear as enthusiastic.

"Mmm... somehow, it's a little..." Kotori begins, but doesn't quite have the heart to finish the sentence. Thankfully, Umi picks it back up for her: "Wrong! Totally wrong! It doesn't capture the feeling of the song at all!"

"Right?" Nico chimes in. "The choreography blew! Eli, you were stiff as a pole! A song like that's gotta have appeal, you know? It needs on-stage chemistry! Without it, there's no point at all!"

Nozomi looks to Eli with a sheepishly raised brow. Maybe it wasn't just her imagination, then.

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The last couple of weeks Eli had been grateful to be busy. Between school, the council and practice, there was barely any time to do anything else. Or even think about anything else.

Eli went into automatic work mode, keeping up with practice and rehearsal and homework. Everything seemed to be moving along just fine. She taught the girls the choreography and kept them in line, then she'd meet up with the individual groups and go over their steps more closely. The days when it was just her and Nozomi, things seemed to slow down and she was aware of every ticking moment. When it was just the two of them, she could feel herself get wound up so tight her muscles ached, and she was glad to get a moment alone when she did.

She hadn't come over to Nozomi's place on her own since that day, but it seemed like they'd both just been busy so she didn't say anything about it. And neither did Nozomi.

Eli barely thinks about any of that at all during their first "everyone and everything" big rehearsal. She's focused on catching any little thing that needs work in each performance that she's surprised when it's her and Nozomi's turn to perform their duet. A strange tension takes her over and she feels a pinch under her shoulder blades. The dance is not her best, she already knows it, but to hear the other girls agree just makes her face hot and muscles tense.

"I was, um--" she's out of breath (even though the simple dance was not all that strenuous.) She swallows and rests a hand on her hip as she brushes at the strands of hair sticking to her face. "Trying to convey the, um... separation? In the song? By, um" she motions between her and Nozomi. "Showing the space." She's not really confrontational, the way she can be when her steps are questioned. She doesn't look at Nozomi.

"That's well and good, but you can't show just the separation!" Umi protests with a level of vehemence not at all called for by Eli's listless explanation. "That's the crux of the relationship between couple depicted in the song -- the juxtaposition between ordinary life, where they must bear the pain of hiding their love, and the sweet, forbidden thrill of the time they spend in privacy, where they can let their true feelings--"

"The point is," Nico shoves her off to the side before she can go on any longer, "it's a sexy song! If the two of you don't touch each other even once, it's a ripoff. Got it?"

"Sexy?" Eli's reaction is perhaps a little more taken aback than the situation calls for. "We're teenagers! School idols, we shouldn't get sexy. I mean, our outfits a little, yeah, but--"

"Eli!" Nico interrupts. "Get real, this sort of thing has a high appeal amongst fans! That's why we have this song in the first place!" She grabs the closest girl next to her -- Hanayo, who can't help but tuck her arms in and squeak -- and pulls her close. "You have to bring in that tension and chemistry." She lets Hanayo go and dramatically touches her hand to her own forehead. "The pain of forbidden love!" Then grabs Hanayo again and rubs her cheek against hers. "Staying together against all odds!" Hanayo's eyes water and she lets out a wake little "help."

Nico turns back to Eli. "You barely looked like you liked each other up there!"

At that Eli's eyebrows raise and she clenches her teeth. That hit a nerve more than she cares to admit. Eli crosses her arms across her chest. "I interpreted the song the way I thought best. You wanna give it a try?"

"Of course! I'll show you exactly how it's done--"

It's Umi's turn to cut her off this time, pushing Nico away with one hand as the other presses over her heart in a desperate plea. "No! Nico's interpretation of it is far too cheap! If anything, the one whose input you should be seeking is--"

She curls into herself mid-sentence as Nico's elbow jabs into her side. "She asked for my suggestions, so obviously she wants my suggestions!"

"Um, maybe we should talk this out after calming down a little more..." Kotori attempts weakly, but it's lost to the growing commotion.

"Rin wants to try, nya!" comes a shout from among the ruckus, as its source throws her arm up as high as it can go. "Come here, Kayo-chin!"

"Okay," Hanayo squeaks, relieved, at least, to no longer be trapped between the two arguing girls. Grabbing her by the arm, Rin hurriedly moves to stand in front of Eli and Nozomi, and puffs her chest out with the proud of grin of someone about to conduct a truly masterful act. Nozomi raises one curious eyebrow.

"See, in the bit that goes 'I love your hand that pets my hair', you should do it like this!" And she turns to Hanayo, repeatedly tapping her outstretched fingers over the top of her head. "Pet, pet, pet..."

"Don't pet her like she's a cat!" Nozomi exclaims, and leans forward to thwack Rin over the head with the comedic timing of an impeccable manzai duo. Rin sticks her tongue out even as she flinches at the slap. "Teehee!"

"You're not taking this seriously at all!" Umi cries, and whirls around to grab hold of one of her own best friends. "Kotori!"

"Eh?" Despite the look of mild dread on the girl's face, she lets herself be dragged along by Umi all the same. Umi herself pays it little heed, lost, no doubt, to the passionate flames of taboo romance.

"When you sing about wanting to hold each other," she asserts, "your hands should touch like this -- as if about to succumb to your longing, but just barely holding back!" She demonstrates, reaching with one arm to firmly lace her fingers through Kotori's own, slack with bafflement. "And then, after grasping it tightly, you must let go, torn apart by the cruelty of the world around you! Longing in your eyes, Kotori!"

"Ah, right!" Kotori snaps upright, and casts a heavy-lidded, pouted-lipped gaze at Umi's face, which sends Honoka into another bout of applause. "Ooh! I see it, the longing!"

Rin and Hanayo join in with the clapping, and Nozomi, too, nods appreciatively as she watches. Nico, seeing that the tides have turned against her, decides she absolutely won't stand for it, and latches onto the next best contender now that Hanayo's escaped. "I-I won't lose! Maki!"

"What? Why me?!"

Her protests are flat-out ignored as Nico butts back into the center and slips effortlessly back into lecture mode. "During the instrumental parts, instead of standing around awkwardly, why don't you try something bolder? You know, like this--" Placing one hand on Maki's waist, she opts for a spin, but Maki, being a good deal taller and no less stubborn, remains firmly rooted in place. "W-why do I have to do this with you?!"

"It's for demonstration, so be quiet!"

"I never agreed to any of this!"

"So you're all right with just letting Umi win?!"

"Win what?"

"Everyone." Nozomi coughs into her palm, uncharacteristically loud enough to award her a brief moment of silence from the squabbling girls. "Thank you, there's been a lot of helpful input! Elichi and I are feeling much more inspired now." She turns to Eli with a smile. "Right, Elichi?"

Eli remains silent as the team, two by two, step in to present their own interpretations on a dance about forbidden lovers. Each one embarrasses her more than the next, and by the end she's covering half her face in second- and first-hand embarrassment.

On one hand, she agrees that the choreography she came up with didn't match the song. On the other, the idea of performing any of the motions the group is suggesting with Nozomi... She feels that strange knot in her throat and twist in her stomach. It would just be strange now. Nozomi must be just as uncomfortable about it as she is.

She breathes a sigh of relief when Nozomi steps in, but finds herself gasping it right back in whens he turns to her to ask. "Hmm? Oh. Yes. I guess we have a lot more to think about and work on..." She wonders what Nozomi is thinking.

If Nozomi's feeling any discomfort, none of it shows on her face as she claps her hands together, beaming. "Why don't we try it again now? Just improvise based on the suggestions we got. It'll give us a more solid idea what to do for the final choreography!"

"Oh, improvise?" Eli's never been very good with improvisation. She's usually the kind of person that has to plan everything and think it through several times before acting. But Nozomi's smiling and she trusts her more than anyone else.

So Eli nods. "Okay. If you have an idea just lead me through it."

"All right." Nozomi gives Eli's shoulder a soft squeeze of reassurance. "I like what you had in the beginning. Why don't we do it the same up until the end of the first chorus, and then see what we can come up with?"

With Eli's approval, she turns to Rin. "Rin-chan!"

"Right!" The girl hops over to the music player, and excitedly slams 'play'.

Nozomi draws in a breath, and the song begins again. Her heart's beating noticeably louder in her chest this time, even as they retrace the same well-practiced movements of before. Even though she was the one to suggest this, she can't help the nervous flutter in her stomach as, halfway through the third verse, she begins walking towards Eli. Step by step, the distance between them closes. Nozomi keeps the smile firmly on her face, even as she swallows.

They don't touch yet. Nozomi finds that she's almost a little scared to. Instead, she circles around Eli, twintails fluttering behind her with the motion -- and a small knot loosens in her chest as Eli follows suit. They slip into it with surprising ease, drawing swirling patterns around each other with a natural harmony to them. When Nozomi holds out a hand, Eli does the same, and the tips of their fingers brush together -- just briefly.

The spiraling path drawn by their feet first leads them farther apart, and then closer than the dance ever allowed. Closer, even, than they've been this past month, ever since Nozomi's confession. She feels her throat tighten as the music begins to slow.

Eli's voice croons from the speakers: 'As we drift to sleep in our private flower garden...'

Maybe they can't ever really go back to being friends the way they used to. They certainly won't ever become something like what Nozomi sees in her idle daydreams. But this is just a song; it's an act, it means nothing. So maybe, just for now, this is fine.

With only a single step's distance between them, Nozomi reaches for Eli's hand, and wraps her fingers around it. Gingerly, she guides it up to the side of her face, where hair brushes skin.

The warmth of Eli's palm presses against her cheek, and her fingertips brush the shell of her ear. The muscles in Nozomi's knees feel liquid, the air between the two of them thick with electricity. Without thinking, her lips voicelessly form the words.

"I love your hand..."

They start the dance over and Eli already feels her heart beat faster, not from the dancing but from the expectation of what might be coming.

And she felt oddly calmed, when it was simply moving around each other and singing to each other. Nozomi's steps were easy to follow, almost as if they'd planned them before. They felt natural to the song and to them.

And she feels herself relax. She feels something similar to how their friendship used to feel, the closeness and ease. She's following the motions without hesitation until her hand is on Nozomi's cheek and Nozomi sings that line and Eli feels even her fingers tense and she can't help but think of that warm afternoon behind the school. Nozomi's eyes as she told her...

The moment feels all too long and also short when Nozomi lets go of her hand as the song continues. She follows along, though not as well as before, that strange tension returning to her joints. At one point Nozomi grabs her hand again and she's not sure if she's holding onto her hand too tightly or if her fingers are just incredibly stiff.

The song winds down and Eli feels Nozomi tug at her arm again. They end the song face to face and all Eli can think is that Nozomi is too close and leaning even closer. Before the song has finished fading out, Eli takes a step back and pulls her hand from Nozomi's. She takes a moment before deciding head for her water bottle as if that was why.

Edited 2014-08-21 18:40 (UTC)

Eli lets go, and as Nozomi's hand hits dully against her thigh, she realizes -- oh, she forgot to keep her smile on. She quickly reinstates it, ignoring the natural urge to reach back for Eli's hand, just as a burst of applause comes from their audience of seven.

"Yes!" Umi beams. "Some fine-tuning is required, of course, but I could feel the emotion much more clearly now!"

"Yeah! Yeah, that was awesome!" Honoka offers an enthusiastic double thumbs-up, as Nico folds her arms over her chest with a self-satisfied smirk. "It was all thanks to Nico's advice, obviously!"

"They didn't even take your suggestion, though," Maki mutters coolly, looping a lock of hair around her finger.

"Be quiet!"

Nozomi lets out a small laugh, and then turns to look back at Eli, eyes searching. "It seems like we did a good job, huh?"

Eli has her back turned to the girls, chugging from her water bottle as they offer their excited approval. Even with their screaming, Eli's ears ring for another reason entirely.

She turns to Nozomi, a smile forced on her lips. "Yeah! Good job, Nozomi. Thank you for taking the lead on that one. She turns to everyone else. She's out of breath and her words come out all too quickly. "Alright, I'm glad we're all happy with it now. We'll work on perfecting it this week. Good practice everyone! Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom."

Eli walks back into the stairwell and feels like she can breathe again.

Edited 2014-08-21 19:10 (UTC)

"Woah, that ended quickly," Honoka comments with a raised brow, but then perks right back up. "Well, we really did a great job today! Good going, everyone. I'll see you all again tomorrow!"

"Yeah!" comes the eager chorus in response, and practice breaks up. The girls help each other stretch, chatting among themselves with contented exhaustion; Rin and Hanayo go together to return the speakers to the teachers' lounge.

As Nico leans her negligible weight against Nozomi's back to help her stretch, she idly comments, "Man, did Eli drown in the toilet, or something?"

Nozomi hums faintly in response, fingertips pressing to the floor as far away as her arms can reach. Then she slowly uncurls her back, and rises to her feet.

"Done stretching?"

"Yeah, I'll go check on her on the way outside."

Waving the remaining girls goodbye with a smile, she steps through the door leading back inside the school, to look for Eli.

Eli finishes splashing water on her face. She braces herself against the sink, eyes closed, and just lets the water drip down. She doesn't know what to do.

The last few weeks of ignoring it haven't made it disappear. That unease she feels when she wants to know what Nozomi is thinking. If her touches have any sort of meaning behind them or Eli's just making it up. If Eli's supposed to discourage it. She sometimes wonders if anything in her own actions or words ever lead Nozomi on and that worries her even more; she doesn't want to hurt Nozomi any more than she already has.

Her rejection hadn't been clear, but she thought Nozomi had understood. But that doesn't mean she can stop those looks or those touches, or reading into them.

There's a knock at the door and she hears Nozomi's voice on the other side.

Eli takes a breath and grabs a paper towel to wipe at her face. "Sorry, I'm almost done."

Nozomi nudges the door open, poking her head in with a look she hopes is reassuring. "Mind if I come in?"

"No, go ahead," Eli responds quietly, muffled by the paper towel as she finishes drying her face. "Sorry, did I take that long?"

"Everyone's finishing up their stretches," she offers as her answer. "It's no good to skip those, you know."

Eli nods. "Right. I'll do them later."

"Should I help?" she suggests, pleasant. The two of them always pair up, after all.

"Ah, that's fine," Eli responds. Nozomi usually does help her during cool-offs, but today she's not sure she'd be able to breathe. "I'll just do them myself."

"Okay," Nozomi says simply, and at first thinks to leave it at that. To pretend she can't tell what this is really about, like everything is fine. Just the way she's been pretending this past month.

But... her hands ball into fists at her sides and her shoulders tense as she thinks -- how much longer can she keep pretending? If she acts like this is normal every time Eli pulls away, then Eli will get farther and farther away from her, until she'll be completely our of reach. They haven't talked about this once, not even on the day Nozomi admitted her feelings, and she thought she'd be happy leaving it at that -- but she can't stand the thought of standing idly by and watching as their friendship crumbles into dust.

She should say something. They can work this out. If she just...

"Did you hate it that much?"

Nozomi swallows harshly, taken aback by the words that just left her own mouth. That wasn't right. It sounded-- accusatory. She hadn't meant to say that at all. Where did it come from?

Eli stands rigid in the silence after Nozomi's question. She could've sworn hours went by.

Ah, of course Nozomi's felt it too. She's never been as good as Nozoomi at hiding how she felt. And apparently she'd been doing an even worse job than she thought.

"I didn't... hate it..." She starts quietly, eyes cast downward. "But I was... uncomfortable. That song, and what happened... aren't you uncomfortable too?"

Nozomi laughs, but it doesn't sound believable even to her own ears. "Don't be silly!" she responds, forcibly injecting chipperness into her tone. "It's just a song. I made Umi-chan write it because I thought it'd be funny, remember? Everyone knows it doesn't really have anything to do with us."

Just voicing the words feels like pulling teeth, and the edges of her mouth are starting to hurt from all this smiling. The corners of her eyes, too, have an odd strain tugging at them.

Eli doesn't have to look at Nozomi to know she's lying but she looks up anyway. "But it's not, is it? You told Umi to write that before you told me that you..." She's writing the paper towel in her hands. "I can tell when you're lying, Nozomi."

Nozomi opens her mouth to give another lighthearted protest, but it dies on her tongue at those last words. It's true, it doesn't matter how long she keeps this act up -- in the end, the only one she's trying to kid is herself.

She drops her eyes to the floor, guilty. The smile wavers on her lips.

"Are you scared of me?"

Eli wrings her hand in front of her to stop herself from going to Nozomi. "I'm not scared. Or maybe a little. But not scared that you'll do something or anything I mean..." Now she's frustrated and she rubs at her eyes with one hand. "I--I don't know what I'm feeling. Mostly confused and worried... weird. I feel weird."

She closes her eyes against her hand and leans back, against the sink. Her voice is very quiet. "I'm sorry."

Edited 2014-08-22 00:45 (UTC)