fortunetellings: (concerned surprise)
toujou nozomi ☾☆☆ ([personal profile] fortunetellings) wrote in [community profile] ladieskissing2014-08-20 10:01 pm

(no subject)

With a live show coming up in just a little over a month, rehearsals have begun in full swing. Some of the songs in this concert they've never performed on stage before, so Eli had had to create new dances for them. Now that they've all had time to commit them to memory, all nine of them have gathered up to do a run-through of the choreography. They're not worried about singing for now -- instead, they let the recording play in the background as they focus on the dancing alone. Eli watches all the way throughout, commenting on each girl's performance and pointing out unsatisfactory areas. ("Rin, don't swing your arm up that high!" "Nico, your turn is too slow!") Nozomi smiles a little to herself as she listens to her voice, even when Eli calls for her to stand up straighter, and not fall behind. Eli's very good at being authoritative.

They get through the group dances first, then move on to the units, and finally, pairs. The very last song on the list is Glass Garden, and Eli resigns from her position in the peanut gallery, and joins Nozomi in the center of the roof. Nozomi offers her a grin. From her spot near the CD player, Rin announces "Okay, ready!", and when they respond in kind, hits play.

They've practiced it well, Nozomi thinks. There's a bit of tension to the choreography, like a fear of coming too close for too long -- but then, it might very well be all in her imagination. Regardless, Eli is as graceful and poised as ever, and at the end of it, Nozomi feels they did a pretty good job.

Honoka applauds. The others, though, don't appear as enthusiastic.

"Mmm... somehow, it's a little..." Kotori begins, but doesn't quite have the heart to finish the sentence. Thankfully, Umi picks it back up for her: "Wrong! Totally wrong! It doesn't capture the feeling of the song at all!"

"Right?" Nico chimes in. "The choreography blew! Eli, you were stiff as a pole! A song like that's gotta have appeal, you know? It needs on-stage chemistry! Without it, there's no point at all!"

Nozomi looks to Eli with a sheepishly raised brow. Maybe it wasn't just her imagination, then.
horosho: (sad cute no)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
In their years as best friends, they've never had a moment like this. They've shared very personal things, had moments where both were crying, but never something like this. Like a desperation to fix something that neither know how to even start figuring out.

Eli just wants it to stop.

She brings her hands to Nozomi's cheeks and cups them, thumbs brushing away at the wetness. "Nozomi, you're my best friend, and I mean that. The best friend I've ever had." Eli's lips shake, as she tries very hard to speak as clearly as she can through her sobs. She speaks slowly as her shoulders heave.

"When you told me your feelings, I all felt so muddled, I just had never had someone tell me that. I'd never thought that. But I... I think I wouldn't mind being kissed by you. I've never cared more about anyone."
horosho: (a little sad)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli feels every muscle tense when Nozomi moves closer. Her heart beats faster and a small gasp escapes her lips. Nozomi's going to kiss her. Everything slows until the moment Nozomi only kisses her cheek. Her lips are soft and warm even in that all-too-quick contact.

Then Nozomi pulls away.

Eli feels her head reel a bit. She feels her whole body sink, that cold, clammy chill that lets you know: something just went wrong.

She doesn't have the strength or forethought to not let go of Nozomi, and as she slips away from her grasp, Eli feels so many other things slip away along with her.

She's left standing, arms half-outstretched, eyes wet and wide and confused.

She's just made a huge mistake.

Her voice is small, like a child scared to call out too loudly. "N-Nozomi?"
Edited 2014-08-22 15:07 (UTC)
horosho: (sad angry)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli brings her hands to her face before it contorts into an ugly sob.

Eli doesn't know how to respond to that question. She doesn't know what's wrong, or what's right, or what to do or think. She just hates what's happening, hates herself for not knowing what to do. Maybe also hates that Nozomi had to say anything and change everything.

As much as they try things will never go back.

Eli cries into her hands.
horosho: (crying)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli's grip isn't so tight or her arms so stiff that Nozomi can't pull them away, but she hates that she'll see her like this. She's sure her face has to be red and splotchy, features twisted, nose running. Her head sags forward and she feels her forehead bump against Nozomi.

"I want to..." She's still sobbing, words still interrupted by hiccups. "I want to..."

She closes her mouth and swallows. This isn't the time to keep pushing something like that, not for her, or Nozomi. She wouldn't want Nozomi to kiss her when she's like this anyway.

She nods against Nozomi, doing her best to calm herself. "Okay."
horosho: (sad cute no)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
With Nozomi's soft and gentle arms around her, her comforting hand on her back, Eli feels able to calm herself down.

She nods, finally, sniffling and hiccuping like a small child who's been crying for too long.

Her voice is cracked from strain. "I didn't do my cool-down exercises."
horosho: (a little sad)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli doesn't let herself start crying again, even though she feels like she could.

You'll do them. Not we.

She knows she was the one who first said that, but it still hurts.

She nods again. "Yeah."

Defeated, Eli pulls away from Nozomi softly, turning to the sink to wash her face.

Then she stops. The whole purpose of this conversation, this awful conversation that they're having, is for things to get back to normal. For the two of them to try to get all of that back.

Eli turns back to Nozomi, hopeful she'll say yes and afraid she'll say no. "Would you help me do them?"
Edited 2014-08-22 18:03 (UTC)
horosho: (but but)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Nozomi's smile and immediate confirmation makes Eli smile too, and she breathes out a lot of tension.

Which then picks back up at Nozomi saying it's getting dark out.

"We could try the gym? If there's a team practicing there we'll just take up a corner. Or a classroom?" She'd really rather not do them in the dark.
horosho: (big surprise)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli lets out a tiny squeak before she can even stop it. Her hands ball into fists in front of her. "Nozomi! You know I hate that!"
horosho: (big surprise)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli's scream is piercing enough to be heard all across the school and she can't stop herself from clinging to Nozomi.

"NEVERMIND!! Let's just go home!"
horosho: (shouting)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli is grateful to have Nozomi to hang onto, even though she's the cause of her current state. "Okay, okay, just don't scare me anymore!"
horosho: (loving)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli pouts and is ready to continue scolding Nozomi, but then has a change of heart. It's okay to have fun, she reminds herself. Especially now.

"Then let's go before it returns to haunt me some more, okay?" She hangs onto Nozomi's arm. "You'll protect me, Nozomi?"
horosho: (pleased)

[personal profile] horosho 2014-08-22 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Eli smiles at Nozomi.

All of this and she still wants to be at her side. Still takes care of her and teases her. She really is amazing.

Not everything is fixed but, right now, they can be happy.

"Let's go."