fortunetellings: (concerned surprise)
[personal profile] fortunetellings
With a live show coming up in just a little over a month, rehearsals have begun in full swing. Some of the songs in this concert they've never performed on stage before, so Eli had had to create new dances for them. Now that they've all had time to commit them to memory, all nine of them have gathered up to do a run-through of the choreography. They're not worried about singing for now -- instead, they let the recording play in the background as they focus on the dancing alone. Eli watches all the way throughout, commenting on each girl's performance and pointing out unsatisfactory areas. ("Rin, don't swing your arm up that high!" "Nico, your turn is too slow!") Nozomi smiles a little to herself as she listens to her voice, even when Eli calls for her to stand up straighter, and not fall behind. Eli's very good at being authoritative.

They get through the group dances first, then move on to the units, and finally, pairs. The very last song on the list is Glass Garden, and Eli resigns from her position in the peanut gallery, and joins Nozomi in the center of the roof. Nozomi offers her a grin. From her spot near the CD player, Rin announces "Okay, ready!", and when they respond in kind, hits play.

They've practiced it well, Nozomi thinks. There's a bit of tension to the choreography, like a fear of coming too close for too long -- but then, it might very well be all in her imagination. Regardless, Eli is as graceful and poised as ever, and at the end of it, Nozomi feels they did a pretty good job.

Honoka applauds. The others, though, don't appear as enthusiastic.

"Mmm... somehow, it's a little..." Kotori begins, but doesn't quite have the heart to finish the sentence. Thankfully, Umi picks it back up for her: "Wrong! Totally wrong! It doesn't capture the feeling of the song at all!"

"Right?" Nico chimes in. "The choreography blew! Eli, you were stiff as a pole! A song like that's gotta have appeal, you know? It needs on-stage chemistry! Without it, there's no point at all!"

Nozomi looks to Eli with a sheepishly raised brow. Maybe it wasn't just her imagination, then.
fortunetellings: (secret)
[personal profile] fortunetellings
For a long time, Nozomi convinced herself that this is fine. She's in love with Eli, but that doesn't matter -- she'll never ask anything of her, and she'll never say it aloud, and Eli will never, ever have to know. Then there's no problem, is there? They can just go on as friends, the way they were meant to be. This is just fine.

And for a bit over two years, it was. But she's been getting worse at hiding it, Nozomi knows. Eli's caught her staring more than once, and she's found her own hand lingering in places for longer than it ought -- Eli's back, her shoulder, the inside of her elbow.

She could keep laughing it off, pretending it was nothing -- but how much longer will it work? By this point, isn't she doing nothing but wait for Eli to be fed up with her? For the moment she'll inevitably say--

'Stop it. Stop lying. You think I can't tell what you're thinking?'

She's not going to put up with it forever.

But there's a way to avoid it, Nozomi's come to realize. Of course, she can't help what Eli will think; if it's something that'll ruin their friendship no matter what, then there's no way around it. But at the very least, Nozomi can avoid being a liar.

And then she won't have to dread the day Eli gets fed up.

The thought had taken root in her mind two weeks earlier. She did her best to block it out, at first, thinking it ridiculous. Why would she risk their friendship of her own accord? Why shouldn't she delay the inescapable for as long as she can? Is she stupid?

But the more time passed, the more firmly the idea cemented itself in the back of her skull, and the heavier Nozomi's guilt grew, as well. They had a live show a week after. In the changing room between songs, Eli turned to her, face flushed and glistening with sweat, and said with a laugh: 'Help me change out of this, okay?'

And as Nozomi's hands pushed the fabric of the dress from over warmed shoulders, she really hated herself a little, even though the pounding of her heart in her throat made it impossible to focus on for long. In that moment, it was worth it.

In the days that followed, though, she was only angrier at herself for having thought that.

Eli lets her touch her like that because they're friends. She lets her hug her and hold her hand and link her arm through hers because they're friends. Had she known Nozomi's real feelings, there's not a chance in the world that she would still allow it; and knowing that full well, Nozomi keeps her feelings secret.

She really is the worst.

When that single thought becomes louder than anything else, Nozomi gives in. She'll confess, she decides; she'll make it short and simple. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate or romantic -- those types are reserved for people expecting a positive answer. All she has to do is say it outright.

And whatever happens, happens.

It's Friday afternoon when she finally works up the resolve to go through with it. The day thus far has gone on per usual; school, student council work, practice on the roof. Nozomi kept her usual smile on her face. Everything has been completely, wonderfully normal.

And she's going to ruin all that.

The two of them are on the way out of school, when Nozomi abruptly grabs hold of Eli's wrists and begins tugging her sideways, away from the gate and deeper towards the yard.

"Elichi, can I have a minute?" she asks with a smile, after she's already started leading her away.

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December 2021

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